What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
09.06.2025 03:02
Ive learnt so much.
She was in good health!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Why do almost all the girls on Quora look beautiful?
I have no regrets .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
All the time i was locked up.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
What did i know ?
How can I fall asleep fast at night?
We were not on the streets..
I was very sick at this time too.
Who then, do I blame.?
When was the first time your wife had beastiality?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Especially a lifetime of it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen at your job?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Why does my crush make me jealous about having a girlfriend?
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Comes on , in middle age.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
CNN’s Live ‘Good Night, and Good Luck’ Telecast Spurs Special Coverage - Variety
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
WWE WrestleMania 42 Announced for Las Vegas After Relocation from New Orleans - Bleacher Report
I was scared of men, in general
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My son is possessed, now he has psychosis. Can someone help me?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
It was going to be , some day.
He resisted the act ,that day.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Im still living with it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I waited trembling.
I think the readers, may guess!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
So whats the point in blame.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I did it because my mum asked me too!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She found it foreign!.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
This is soul school!.
Was to survive, this bastard.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I will be 64.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We all went to grammer schools
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But ive been too sick for many years..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I don,t even have a pension.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Why did i forgive my father ?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But, we were locked up after school.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I never cut or harmed myself..
So, i spoilt her more .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I said to her
I couldn’t, believe it.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was seconnd youngest,
She wouldn,t have been !
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
One cannot live in the past .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I write beautiful poetry .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
And i lived it daily.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i do to all so called friends.?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He knew the spot.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
My family never makes their pension either.
But it wasn’t much.
When she asked me how she looked .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was 9 years of age.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My life is so biszare .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Would this be the day?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Put me off passion for life!!
She married twice! .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She loved him until the end.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.